With the wealth of information that’s been in the media
about bullying and cyberbullying, it’s on just about everyone’s minds. We know
that growing up isn’t exactly easy. We adults face problems with bullying, but
we’ve learned how to handle it or perhaps we ignore it. I’ve watched students let uncomplimentary
remarks slide off like water on a duck, and I’ve seen children who are highly
sensitive to any slight. We know that
the middle years are usually the toughest when it comes to kid nastiness, but
we also find it from the elementary grades on. There are young people
everywhere who are trying to find their place among their peers. Sometimes it
goes beyond normal, day-to-day kid behavior and can cause lasting problems for
those bullied or ignored. Teachers, parents, coaches, and others who work with
children watch for bullying, but as we know, it often happens when adults
aren’t around or anonymously online. Who is to blame for the bullying mentality
and how might we stop it? A generation ago we confiscated the so-called Slam
Books that featured inappropriate information about students in our
classes. Today we continue to watch
during lunch sessions for “cool tables” for the in-crowd, try to keep up with
school-related social interaction online, work with students on thoughtfulness
and respect, and do our best to keep parents informed on the topic. Recently I
asked a group of eighth graders who is to blame for bullying, cyber or
otherwise. They agreed that the kids who do it were the problem. I asked if
schools and teachers were to blame. The answer went something like this, “No,
not everyone is nice. That’s the problem and kids should remember that. If a
teacher sees bullying and doesn’t do anything, then the teacher is wrong, but
usually teachers don’t see it. Who would do something not nice when teachers
and parents are around?” When I asked what is the answer to the problem of
bullying, one said, “Stay with nice kids. Don’t try to get into a group that
does things that aren’t nice.” Nice
seems to be the answer, but how do we get everyone to take on that quality?
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