With the wealth of information that’s been in the media
about bullying and cyberbullying, it’s on just about everyone’s minds. We know
that growing up isn’t exactly easy. We adults face problems with bullying, but
we’ve learned how to handle it or perhaps we ignore it. I’ve watch students let uncomplimentary
remarks slide off like water on a duck, and I’ve seen children who are highly
sensitive to any slight. We know that
the middle years are usually the toughest when it comes to kid nastiness, but
we also find it from the elementary grades on. It’s everywhere where there are
young people who trying to find their place among their peers. Sometimes it
goes beyond normal day-to-day kid behavior and can cause lasting problems for
those bullied or ignored. Teachers, parents, coaches, and others who work with
children watch for bullying, but as we know, it often happens when adults
aren’t around or anonymously online. Who is to blame for the bullying mentality
and how might we stop it? A generation ago we confiscated the so-called Slam
Books that featured inappropriate information about students in our classes. Today we continue to watch during lunch
sessions for “cool tables” for the in-crowd, try to keep up with school-related
social interaction online, work with students on thoughtfulness and respect,
and do our best to keep parents informed on the topic. Recently I asked a group
of eighth graders who is to blame for bullying, cyber or otherwise. They agreed
that the kids who do it were the problem. I asked if schools and teachers were
to blame. The answer went something like this, “No, not everyone is nice. That’s
the problem and kids should remember that. If a teacher sees bullying and
doesn’t do anything, then the teacher is wrong, but usually teachers don’t see
it. Who would do something not nice when teachers and parents are around?” When
I asked what is the answer to the problem of bullying, one said, “Stay with
nice kids. Don’t try to get into a group that does things that aren’t
nice.” Nice seems to be the answer, but
how do we get everyone to take on that quality?
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